Q was nice… we drank, we talked, we laughed at the trashiness that is so many gay men… and then we paid and left (unfortunately mostly sober)…

After my friend T and I went to his place, hoping to smoke a bowl… only he lost his stash. So we called a guy – W – whom we met at Q that night and told us he could score us some stuff if we needed it… (W is a friend of our mutual friend G)…

So we called him. This is where I want to set our scene.

T and I stand outside of the entrance to W’s house. Through the window we see a man wearing only underwear, a feather boa, and a top hat dancing up on a guy in similar attire. One of the windows upstairs casts a silhouette of a person wearing peacock feathers and dancing. T and I look at each other and give each other looks expressing our apprehension. Finally T breaks the silence by asking if we should not, and I decide we should just walk in. I crack the door and shout, “W!? Are you there!?” No response. The inside of this door – which is on the side of the house – is the kitchen. The moonlight reflects off the kitchen’s white surface, giving a green film to everything the light covered. We walk around the corner and ask someone if they’ve seen Willy, but then we see him. He is the guy we saw through the window in the feather boa and top hat and now he is dancing provocatively on top of a small framed man holding himself upright in a fetal position. Willy stands up and says hello and we realize the guy on the floor is G!!!!!!!! It was crazy!

T and I sit down and are offered endless amounts of free green and booze… Everyone begins dancing in sync to lady gaga music which eventually breaks into everyone grinding on each other in crazy getup and completely off beat – and yet still to some beat they all have in their heads.

All of a sudden a big and flamboyant guy who’s been sitting by the fireplace and looking into the fire looks at us and says, “HEY! LOOK AT ME!” and then throws a magazine into the fire and claps…

There was also a gypsy there who is the last person to carry on his tribe and yet is gay and he is also a fancy hair designer… He was wearing a too too (sp?), hipster hat, a mime shirt, and shiny red leather thigh high boots with 13in heels… His hair salon is going to donate a $250 gift card to Hillel for one of our fundraisers…

We smoked a bong and a little off a hookah… and then the show started. The entire night this one transexual continued to change into different outfits. One made her look like Natalie Portman when she becomes the black swan on stage – only it’s all red. There were crazy masks, and amazingly high boots, and feathers galore, and omg was it amazing.

Finally she looked at us and said it was time for the fire. We all file outside… we hear chains clinking and eventually she asks to borrow a lighter. As soon as she makes the spark we see there are balls on the end of each chain and lights it on fire. We turn off the porch light and bam! A show started! She began twirling the fire balls around on her chains in all sorts of crazy patterns while we just watched without being able to blink. When the show was done we went inside and the guy by the fire showed us how cool fire was (WTF!?) We then told everyone bye and crazy fire watcher tried to grope my balls (I know he’s crazy if he expected that to work out. Nah uh! You don’t EVEN want it!)…

We left, went to Jan’s house (AKA: Best place in Greensboro between 2 and 6am)… ate crazy amounts of food and then went home…

It was like a fucking dream… I’m not even sure I’ll believe it happened when I wake up unless I decide to randomly check the blog I never update. lol.

Don’t worry… I took a few pictures and will post them when I get time… lol.

Anyway, the fact that I’m posting tonight means that tonight was epic. Hopefully I’ll do it justice. The theme for the night was ridiculousness and it was set at 8:30 by my date. However, in order to fully comprehend the ridiculousness of it we will have to flashback to a few weeks ago.

A few weeks ago at Q Lounge (a gay bar in Greensboro – AKA “the Q” or simply: Q) my friend Jason and I were playing a game of nines when these two guys begin making out. Jason commented that he found one of them attractive and I responded that I thought the other one was cuter. Anyway, we decided to cock block them, divide, and conquer. Correct. We went to the patio and we were all talking and it was going well… flashback further (weird flashback noises from movies)…My friend Robbie had invited me to his place the previous night for drinks and wanted to introduce me to a guy he thought I’d be interested in. I declined stating that he probably didn’t have a good enough sense of the kinds of guys I’m interested in. Anyway, back to the current part of the story – the guy I was talking to happened to be the guy Robbie wanted to set me up with. Destiny. Right? So we exchanged numbers and decided to go on a date.

Unfortunately I got all sorts of sick… blah blah blah… and the date was moved to New Years Eve…

Bam… We’re now at the eve of New Years Eve. The rest of the gay counsel and I decided to go see Tron at the IMAX in Raleigh (BTW – Awesome… especially because the end is so ridiculous that you will be forced to laugh uncontrollably). Before that we went shopping. blah. So we’re all in Express Men and I happened to mention the name of the guy with whom I had a date. GASP. That’s right, the gay gasp came from all directions. I was stunned… How did they know this guy? Turns out he is speedo guy. AKA: The guy who dances at the fountain of UNCG wearing a speedo, with his iPod stuffed in the back of his speedo, singing, and pointing at people as they walk by. Both OMG and WTF!!!(???).

So I go on this date to night, and I have to tell you… it went really well. He was incredibly nice and I really enjoyed the conversation. So, despite the exhibitionism (although, perhaps because it’s funny to me) I plan on seeing him again. My first second date. blah blah blah. Ever (in the USA where it counts).

Then I went to Q where the gay counsel met me. I came equipped with noise makers and sparklers. This one guy kept pretending to whisper in my ear but it was obvious to everyone that he was raping it. I allowed it. It tickled me. The poured champagne and it was passed around the bar and the ball dropped and cheers were said and noise makers were sounded and we in the gay counsel all kissed one another and merriment and all the other rituals expected of one at the threshold of a new year (that point being the holiest part of the entire calendar for the gays… since New Years Eve and New Years combined makes our Yom Kippur… although, instead of atoning for sins we tend to indulge in it…).

After we all chatted and had more general fun… At one point we went outside and lit the sparklers which gave us 5 minutes of fun but it felt like 5 seconds…

Anyway, I was driving home (no mom, I wasn’t drunk… I was ridiculously sober) well after all this when I realized I didn’t pay my tab. SHIT! I called the bartender… she didn’t answer… I called her girlfriend… now response… I called the bouncer… she didn’t pick up. Gah! So I called my friends (they WERE drunk – 1 of them at least) and they told me they had my card, tabbed out for me, and were eating Pizza. I went to the place, Ian and I played cards… blah blah blah…

Then let me find out that Jason was hitting on this kid with a case of the downs… Seriously. It was ridiculous. BTW, it was the same guy who had previously (and by that I mean not even an hour ago) made out with another friend of mine for 20 minutes. The downs kid was flirting back. We asked him what his job was and he replied that he was a scientist. Can we be honest? Has anyone EVER heard an actual scientist refer to his/herself as a scientist? I haven’t. We asked him to elaborate. Okay. He works “in biochemistry solving viruses and fixing diseases and stuff…” I think that means he’s a lab rat. I don’t know. Anyway, he then talked about how he makes a lot of money… a fun conversation. He also told the friend of mine with whom he’d made out earlier… So my friend Lindell asked him how much money he made and I said, “Oh! he makes 60k a year. remember Lindell? He told ______ that earlier.” HA! It continued and it got bitchier and I don’t think he even realized it…

Then a guy on shrooms came up. He was wearing a silk shirt with cufflinks buttoned down 2 buttons too many, boot cut jeans, and really wide Timberland belt… and the slip resistant black shoes servers have to wear in corporate restaurants. It was tragic… mostly because he looked just like Austin Powers… and I told him so. Anyway, after we realized he wasn’t out but had come over to hit on us his life basically ended. Seriously though, this guy was legit crazy. He wouldn’t stop swaying back and forth and talking about how it doesn’t matter if your penis is small as long as you use it well… WTF!? Plus he was crazy in A Clockwork Orange kind of way. I could see him killing my friends while singing “Singing in the Rain.” Scary fucking shit.

Despite our rejections Lindell and Jason invited him over for an impromptu after party… Ian and I left, promising to give an amazing last account tomorrow when the reporters and police asked us about the last time we saw Lindell and Jason and continuing with our bitchy comments. They still went.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun! It was my first new years eve in Greensboro to my knowledge and I had a hell of a lot of fun. Yay.

Pictures to come soon I’m sure.

The rabbis tell us that we are supposed to get SOOOOO inebriated on Purim that we can no longer tell the difference between Haman and Mordechai. I realized that I’ve never been this drunk (at least not on Purim), so it became our Hillel’s goal this weekend to achieve this mitzvah. Many of us tried. Only two of us succeeded. I was not one of those. I tried my best though.

The weekend began with us going to Gail Bretan’s house (Grad student at UNCG and president of Greensboro’s Hadassah) for Shabbat dinner and Kabalat Shabbat. It was really yummy. Then we had an unofficial Purim party with beer and shots. I got drunk enough to buy people shots – that’s a first.

The next morning I managed to get up, get dressed, and drive to Beth David for Shabbat services where I made an aliyah while still drunk.

Then we had lunch – where 2 of my friends showed up, in time for the free lunch. Classy. HAHA! After that we delivered Mishloach Manot - which are boxes of yummy snacks, we are required by Jewish law to deliver them for Purim. After that we went to Brueggers where we were given 2 dozen bagels by this guy who thinks my friend Sam and I are dating. HAHA! Sam is straight, so we definitely aren’t. We’ll take the bagels though.

We took a nap. HA!

Then we got dressed and headed back to Beth David for the reading of the story of Esther, and free beer and chicken wings. WOOT WOOT! It was made more awesome by the fact that Rabbi Havivi was dressed up like the Corn Flakes Rooster! HAHA!

After that we went back to Sam Lichtman’s apartment to play beer pong and circle of death. We got hella drunk. We kept screaming Haman and Mordechai – only 2 of us messed up. HAHA! At one point I screamed “JEWS!” and everyone cheered. Then one of Sam’s roommates screamed “SOUTHERN BAPTISTS!!!” and everyone booed. HAHAHA! I kind of felt bad, but mostly I thought it was funny.

We THEN woke up the next morning (I went to bed at 4:30 and was up by 7 – still drunk) and went BACK to Beth David where we helped run their Purim Carnival. Let’s talk about how there were FIVE of those awesome blow up things!

Then I went home – having had around 5 hours of sleep in 2 days – and crashed. Can you say 15 hours of sleep last night? Yeah, amazing!

Anyway, I finally made it to Leah’s and Peter’s apartment and was greeted by a bowl of penne pasta with cheese and red sauce. Scrumptious. Thanks Peter.

We chatted and caught up. I love Peter and Leah. The next day we went to a pub where I got fish and chips (duh! It’s London), we then saw Avatar (awesome!), went to a book store (too expensive), and got coffee (not nescafe! HAHA!). The day after that we saw the high street, went to a REALLY AWESOME book store where I bought WAY too many books.  We also got coffee, I apparently stole pens from a charity, saw where Leah gets kitty litter, and bought a couple bottles of wine. OH! We also went to the Jewish American grocery store.

While buying wine I think I insulted the clerk. Whatevs though. I asked if he had any Israeli wine and he got super snooty. He said no, like he was disgusted. He was also French. So, then I picked up a bottle of wine and was like, “EW! French wine! Gross!” HAHAHA! I think I’m too much for Leah. lol. It’s cool though. That’s why she loves me.

At the grocery store some guy said he couldn’t find something and the clerk was like, “Well you’re not going to find it there! It’s in the kosher biscuit aisle!” I guess it doesn’t sound that funny – but trust me, the was he said it was super snooty it and Leah and I thought it was hilarious.

After that we found Peter, ate some olives, pita chips, and chumus while watching Kat Williams. Can you believe Leah and Peter have never seen Kat Williams? Naturally we laughed ridiculously! lol.

After I met up with some American friends of mine whom I’m apparently only going to see abroad. lol. Leah said, “I wish we had more time together.” I was like, “We have tomorrow.” That’s when she reminded me that I was leaving the next day. Sad. I honestly wish I had spent more time there.

The couple of days were great though!

I’m not going to write about my return – b/c the new security measures to get into the US are insane and it angers me to write about it. lol.

So, i was planning on staying at Nir’s apartment in Tel Aviv for a couple days. That turned into the rest of the time. lol. His apartment was amazing. Unfortunately after a couple days he had to go back to J’lem. That’s where he lives and studies. His apartment in Tel Aviv is more or less just for summer. So, Tuesday and Wednesday I slept there alone.

On Wednesday I caught a bus into J’lem. I then walked from there to the Arab bus station and from there caught a bus to Ramallah. I saw Rami and his friend William. They brought me to a place where we had Palestinian tapas and chicken and chips. It was really tasty. Then we went to “Stars & Bucks Cafe” – no joke – where we had nargilah and coffee. For those of you who are unaware… Stars & Bucks cafe is pretty infamous. It’s an obvious copyright infringement but they’ve created a case that sort of “sticks it to the man.” So, it’s pretty hard for the US or Israel to do anything about it.

I caught a bus back to Tel Aviv. Then on Thursday I went back to J’lem with the purpose of seeing my friend Antwan Saca in Bethlehem. Unfortunately it didn’t happen. I called my friend Ari – who lives in J’lem – he didn’t answer. Then, I turned around and Ari was LITERALLY having coffee at a table behind me. WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT!? Pretty awesome. We had a really nice convo and then he had to catch a bus.

After I walked around J’lem a little and learned to love it a little more. Nir got out of class and we went to this party. J’lem has these really cool apartment parties. Basically each week someone takes all the furniture out of their apartment and then the whole city gets to go there and dance. There’s a DJ and food and drinks. It’s a lot of fun. Plus, the apartments become completely packed – and it means you get to see the apartments in J’lem, which is cool. It’s 20 sheks to get in – and the first beer is free. So, the greatest thing about this party is when this Violinist began playing Bach’s 10th concierto in D something and EVERYONE started dancing like it was hip hop and got super excited. lol. I was like, “Are we really club dancing to classical music?” HAHA!

After we decided to just go back to his place in J’lem instead of schleping all the way back to Tel Aviv. I woke up, raced to Tel Aviv, raced to the train station, missed my train, had to pay 115sheks for a taxi, barely made it on the plane… but I got bumped up to First class. What’s up bitches? Holla’!

My flight from Tel Aviv to Istanbul was great, from Istanbul to London – supes delayed. I didn’t make it to Leah and Peter’s ’til 1am. I’ll blog more later.

People can say whatever they want about Israel. I agree that we do bad things and need to change some of our policies. I also agree that we’re allowing the religious to get too strong. However, in my heart I’m a Zionist – b/c only in Israel can a scene like this happen.

Israel is currently experiencing a warm front – unlike Europe and the US. Today I went to the beach and walked around for an hour. I plan on going running later. It’s beautiful.

While here I’m staying with my friend Amir’s parents – Haim and Janet. I swear they are trying to kill me with food. Last night I had a feast. Salad and bread followed by an ENTIRE FISH (Muts). I thought that was it. Then came the chicken. Then the green beans. Then the rice. Then the noodles. Then we walked to the rabbi’s house where there was fruit and cake and tea.  Seriously. WAY TOO MUCH FOOD! It was so good.

Then today they were kind enough to let me sleep instead of waking me up to shlep to synagogue. I’m sorry, but here’s the thing… going to synagogue before dawn – that’s crazy. lol. So yeah, I slept. When I woke up we had ANOTHER huge meal. I had corn flakes that was immediately followed by Chamin. Do you know Chamin? In Yiddish I think it’s called Cholent. It’s chic peas and meet and eggs and potatoes – really anything. It’s because you’re not allowed to cook on Shabbat. So, you put it all in a pot on low heat and by the next day it’s ready for lunch. It’s on of my favorite meals. Every time I finished she gave me another plate. I went running after and threw up because I had so much food. lol.

They’ve also made me real tea with mint leaves and keep giving me cookies. I swear, Israel is spoiling me. I love this country and all its Jewish mothers. lol. Other than the fact that my mommy is not here – it’s a perfect country. Speaking of my mom… Each family keeps demanding that I call her. I keep telling them that she calls me. However, they’re like, “Call her! She’ll worry! She misses you! She’s your mom!” HAHA! cute.

Let’s see – what have I not written yet? On the last day in beersheva I decided to head to J’lem. It’s 2 hours by bus and 3 hours by train. I love how everyone in Israel feels like family. Everyone is so tough and jaded… but in the end they’re family. It was Thursday, so many soldiers were going home for the weekend. The bus was so crowded that I had to sit on the floor. The floor was FULL of people. It was a two-hour ride. So, we literally all laid on top of each other and slept. Could you imagine that in the United States? I’d never sleep on a stranger. Here, nobody even asked. We were all tired. So, we all laid on top of each other. No big deal. Sababa. (For those of you who don’t know, Sababa is Hebrew for “cool”).

We got there, saw the wall… I wrote a note to G-d. I don’t really believe in it, but it’s a fun tradition. Then we walked through the Arab market where I bought 2 nargilot (1 for me and 1 for Bekster, for her bday). I’m pretty excited about them. I already used mine. I got us some shitty tobacco… mint flavor… but also some REALLY good Arab double apple tobacco in a tub. So, excited.

We missed our bus on the way back, had to catch the train, and then had to grab a taxi from the train station to the house. The taxi was outrageous. First, the guy said 100NIS. I argued with him and demanded he use the meter. Even with the meter it was outrageous. Lior’s house is probably 15km (about 9 miles) from the train station – I’d guess. It was 80NIS. Whatevs though. I will really miss Lior. He’s such a good guy. Plus, I love Beer Sheva. As beautiful as Haifa is with her gardens and beaches… the desert will always be my favorite. There’s really something beautiful about it. After all, two major religions were born from the desert (Judaism and Islam). It’s a barren wasteland and yet things have adapted over millions of years to live there. I also love that everyone thinks the desert is a bunch of sand. In fact, it’s not. The desert is mostly rock. There is nothing but rocks everywhere. It’s hard to explain. If you’ve never been you need to go. Just sit there at night with good friends and a nargilah, gazing at the stars. It’s great. I love S. Israel.

So, tomorrow is my last day in Haifa. Then I go to Bethlehem and then Tel Aviv again. Then I go to London to see Leah and Peter.

I hope you all are braving the cold well. I’m NOT looking forward to it. lol. Especially not after this beautiful weather.

Shabbat Shalom my friends!

Then we went to a student bar in beersheva. Student bars are only 23+ here b/c typically that’s the youngest a college student will be in Israel. Before that they have military and a time between military and university where they mostly travel the world. So, I wouldn’t have been able to get in, but Lior (my friend) is friends with the bouncer. So, he let us in. Awesome. I had a 1/2 liter of Murphy’s and we all shared a nargilah with double apple. It had a really cool feel. I wish we had more chic places like this in the US. One thing that I really like about Israel is that the buildings (including the houses) are so fresh. The architecture and interior design is really cool. This place had a lot of pillows and floor couches. So, you could sit on the floor and hang out with friends and smoke nargilah and drink. Really nice place. Even the bar was like that.

Today we got up early and headed back into Beersheva to see Ben Gurion University. Seriously… one of the most beautiful campuses I’ve ever seen. Scratch that. THE most beautiful campus I’ve ever seen. Really gorgeous. I’m really jealous. It has tons of green lawns and benches and rocks and little cafes and a river fountain that runs through it and open air classroom buildings. It’s gorgeous. The temperature was 72F today. Really beautiful. I love S Israel. If I ever decide to get a degree just for the fun of it. That’s where I’m going.

It’s now 3:15pm here (8:15am EST). So, I’m going to go on a hike before it gets dark.

I hope you’re all doing well. I miss you. I’ll talk to you all when i get back.